17. OPENING UP TO OPEN RELATIONSHIPS Part 2 (SWINGING)
THINK SWINGING IS JUST FOR LEATHERY, OLD COUPLES SWISHING AROUND KEYS IN A BOWL? THINK AGAIN.
Or maybe swing again... and from that chandelier in the sex club!
On this episode, Sara and Jye explore another form of open relationship with married couple, Ben and Fern Bale, who open up about how swinging keeps their relationship fresh and exciting. They also explain basic swinger terminology ("soft swap, anyone?") and protocol, debunk common swinger myths and as well as give newbies tips on out how to negotiate the highs and lows of swinging.
By being so open with each other and their loved ones about the nature of their relationship, Fern ended up getting her Dad interested in participating in the swinging scene himself!
MORE JUICY BITS ON THE SHOW
12:58 – 18:40 Swinging 101: Preparation & finding a swingers club
19:44 – 21:33 Common terms used in the swinging lifestyle
24:07 – 26:18 Dealing with jealousy
30:58 – 33:06 Importance of communication in an open relationship
34:24 – 36:30 Myths and misconceptions about swingers
44:32 – 46:40 What is a swingers resort?
46:43 – 51:45 Advice for people who want to start swinging
WORDS OF WISDOM
“I want to explore my sexuality and it’s kind of nice that I can do that with my best friend, my husband. We can go do that together that’s why I really love swinging. I can go and have all my fun and know that my wingman is also my husband.”
“I’ve seen people used ‘soft swap’ in two different ways. I’ve seen people use it as only the bi girls will play together. And then, I’ve also seen it used as no penetration.”
“There’s the word ‘compersion’, which is effectively opposite of jealousy. It’s being out to celebrate your partner enjoying something else or enjoying someone else.”
“Successful relationships involve communication anyway. So, hopefully, you both share anything you are thinking and come to some sort of compromise. Talk early and often.”
“It is talking about your needs, their needs, your concerns, their concerns and putting everything on the table in a really honest way and figuring out how you can both get everything that you want.”
OTHER GREAT REFERENCES YOU'LL LOVE
Opening Up to Open Relationships Part 1 – Better in Bed Podcast Episode Number 6 with dating coach Valentina Tudose, focusing on open relationship basics and polymory.
Compersion is the word you’ve been missing your whole life – The meaning of compersion and how it makes the world a better place
The Price of Admission: Dan Savage on the Myth of “The One” and the Unsettling Secret of Lasting Love - Dan Savage answers a reader’s question about romance deal-breakers
Swingers Date Club - One of the oldest, most reputable swingers' communities out there
A Swinging Relationship Can Be Healthy For You, if You “Follow the Rules” – an article on how the swinging lifestyle can benefit you
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
What are your thoughts on swinging? Is this something you’ve tried or would like to? Leave us a comment below - we'd love to know!