24. BOLD AND BODY POSITIVE IN THE BEDROOM
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EVER FELT SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR BODY DURING SEX?
Studies show that shame and anxiety about one's body lead to the avoidance of physical intimacy and reduced sexual satisfaction.
On this episode, Sara and co-host Kat follow Curvasian founder and body positive advocate Bertha Chan through her journey that led her to thrive as a plus-size woman in Asia.
Having never been able to find a dress to fit into growing up—not to mention having to endure judgement from those who were dear to her—a fateful encounter with a plus size and body positivity community on Instagram inspired Bertha to take an active role in empowering millions of women just like her around the world.
Bertha touches on why its so important that body positivity starts with self acceptance, and not relying on other people to validate you.
She also shares some of her strategies around becoming more body confident in the bedroom, including how to have an open conversation with one’s partner and also how she asks her partner to shower love on the specific body parts she feels insecure about during sex.
This is a brave, vulnerable conversation about resisting the challenges and pressures that society places upon us to look a certain way or fit a certain mould. Regardless of what size or shape you are, we learn what can be done to cultivate a stronger sense of body positivity as a practice in our day-to-day lives, and of course, our sex life!
MORE JUICY BITS ON THE SHOW
2:31-4:32 Bertha’s journey to becoming a body positive advocate
8:53-13:59 The good, the bad, and the ugly around social media and body diversity
34:20-39:00 Dealing with haters and the media as a body positive advocate
41:34-44:15 Finding clothes that make you feel sexy as a plus size woman
46:45-53:15 The importance of having a support group, along with the right partner
58:55-1:00:15 Cultivating self-love on a daily basis
AUDIO GUIDE: WANT TO GET BETTER IN BED?
Download this FREE audio guide to get 3 critical strategies to help you creatively and confidently rock it between the sheets.
WORDS OF WISDOM
“Self-love has no size. Body positivity means nobody should have any prejudice or bias on how somebody’s appearance is as a person; whether it’s that you’re a fat person, thin person, or disabled person… it’s not your business. You should just take care of your own body and include everybody, whatever shape or form.”
“As I grow to learn about and love my body, there are fewer insecurities. And also, with a loving partner, who listens to your needs and helps you find what you need in bed, that helps a lot as well.”
“Sometimes, when we’re in a long-term relationship, we forget that we need to try different things to spice up our sex life.”
“If you don’t love yourself, how can you have good sex? Acceptance is always the first thing. Just being self-accepting is so hard if you have all these mixed messages sent to you. You have to learn how to block out these things and just listen to what is right for you. It’s a step-by-step thing. It takes a long time.”
“Look yourself in the mirror. Look at every part of yourself. Tell yourself, ‘This is my body. I have to treasure it, appreciate it, and love what I have.”
OTHER GREAT REFERENCES YOU'LL LOVE
Curvasian — Bertha’s brainchild. A one-stop shop for lingerie and other wearables for the plus size woman
“What Does Body Positivity Actually Mean?” — A primer on the social movement known as “body positivity”
“The 31 Absolute Best Body Positivity Moments of 2019” — Bertha tells us that community is absolutely essential to motivation and self-love. Here’s a showcase of inspiring body positivity moments in 2019.
Body Positivity and Sex: How Loving Your Body Makes You a Better Lover – An article about the benefits of body positivity on arousal, orgasms and overall mindset.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
How do you cultivate a stronger sense of body positivity and confidence in your sex life? Leave us a comment below—we'd love to know!