16. EXPLORING THE FORBIDDEN
WHY DO WE ALWAYS WANT THE THINGS WE CAN’T HAVE? AND WANT TO DO THE THINGS WE SHOULDN’T DO?
Sara and Jye invite Jayde Lovell, the YouTube host of popular science show SciQ to shed some light from the fascinating world of neuroscience.
Jayde helps us understand how the brain is susceptible to the heightened risk and excitement of any forbidden sexual act - thanks dopamine and adrenaline! We discuss how to overcome the shame around our sexual desires and erotic selves, given that what's "forbidden" constantly evolves with our social and cultural norms. Gay marriage, case in point!
Sara gives some coaching tips on using role play, fantasy and open conversations to "hijack" our brain chemistry and harness the energy of the "forbidden" as a positive force in our lives.
MORE JUICY BITS ON THE SHOW
13:50 – 17:20 Why do we want what’s forbidden
18:28 – 22:00 Neuroscience behind love and lust
23:00 – 26:00 How to overcome the shame around our sexual desires
37:30 – 39:30 Manipulating brain chemistry to make sex more fun
WORDS OF WISDOM
“Making ‘sex’ forbidden, in whatever way that might be – sex or sex acts, makes it more desirable and makes people curious to explore it.”
“Science is supposed to be out there helping us understand the world. But, one section of our life that is definitely underfunded and under researched is the neuroscience and psychology of sex.”
“There’s nothing culturally that is off limits. There’s no rules of what’s right and wrong. Things that are forbidden are usually things that we ourselves have made forbidden for one reason or another.”
“It is so fundamental to the human condition to have sex and relationships. And yet, we have so much shame around the things that we do in the bedroom. Therefore, the conversations that we have are so closed and that makes things forbidden that really don’t need to be.”
OTHER GREAT REFERENCES YOU'LL LOVE
The Allure of Forbidden Relationships – This article explains the psychology behind why forbidden relationships are so attractive. Many of the concepts are discussed in the podcast.
Women Love Bad Boys: The Psychology Behind Why Women Go For The Assh*les – The Bad Boy Complex discussed
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs – Abraham Maslow is well renowned for proposing the Hierarchy of Needs Theory in 1943. This theory is a classical depiction of human motivation and depicts sex as a basic need.
Brain Sex in Men and Women – From Arousal to Orgasm – This article reveals the neural model of sexual arousal, culminating in orgasm research and the surprising similarities, and marked differences, between the sexually aroused brain of men and women.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
Do you ever feel the lure of the forbidden? How can we explore it in a healthy way? Leave us a comment below - we'd love to know!