47. THREESOMES, FOURSOMES & MORESOMES
IS THREE ALWAYS A CROWD? APPARENTLY NOT WHEN IT COMES TO GROUP SEX ENCOUNTERS - SINCE STUDIES SAY THAT HAVING A THREESOME IS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SEXUAL FANTASIES.
On this episode, Sara and co-host Jannus sit down with model and sexy lifestyle events host Vonny Lang, to chat about our personal experiences around group sex.
We explore the different benefits and dynamics of group sex, and why its such a common fantasy. We also discuss the common fears that people may have when approaching group sex, and how to overcome them.
We give guidance around how newbies can bring up a group sex fantasy to a partner and navigate their first group sex encounter at a play party or a sex club.
This episode will inspire you and give you some useful tips if you’re figuring out how to have a sexy, fun, drama-free threesome (or moresome) of your wet dreams!
More Juicy Bits on the Show
9:20-16:57 - Vonny’s initial group sex experiences
17:01-20:08 - Getting invited to a sex party
20:13-23:20 - Why threesomes are such a common fantasy
23:22-31:13 - Benefits and Drawbacks of group sex
34:19-39:37 - Personal experiences of group sex gone wrong
39:40-46:15 - Overcoming common fears around group sex
46:17-51:32 - How to introduce the topic of group sex to a partner
51:33-57:41 - Threesome dynamics
57:43-104:08 - Tips for exploring group sex with a partner
110:00-115:02 - Establishing consent and avoiding awkwardness
AUDIO GUIDE: WANT TO GET BETTER IN BED?
Download this FREE audio guide to get 3 critical strategies to help you creatively and confidently rock it between the sheets.
Tips for a Successful Threesome
Check in with your desires and boundaries. Have a discussion, before the actual sex starts, to create boundaries and then stick to them to prevent group sex regret.
Choose your partners wisely. Decide if you want to meet your partners through an app or in real life, or if you want to explore existing friendships. If there’s a couple involved, try to understand the dynamics of their relationship beforehand.
Make sure everyone’s comfortable (and sober). Spend some time chatting before the sex starts to ensure there’s a good fit and sexual chemistry. It’s OK to have a glass or alcohol to take the edge off but avoid over-indulging.
Follow safer sex practices. Have lots of condoms and other barrier devices available and follow other hygiene practices such as regular hand washing.
Communicate and check in regularly. Consent is an ongoing process, and this means being actively engaged, checking in if things are OK and being respectful of everyone’s wishes.
Focus on mutual pleasure. A successful threesome usually happens if everyone is enjoying the dynamic and there is a mutual exchange of pleasure. Not if anyone is “taking one for the team” or feels left out (unless they have asked to be).
Have a post-coital catch up. Try to limit any awkwardness after sex by cuddling and chatting about how the encounter made you feel. Or even catching up separately in public together afterwards like friends.
Words of Wisdom from this Episode
“Being in a group setting means I have more opportunity to connect with many different people. In a party you meet 20 people that are open minded, like minded, curious, and interested in playing. It’s a great networking space. You can meet someone at the party and maybe play with them outside of the party. A lot of action actually happens outside of the party.”
“I see it as a great thing, if you’re jealous of your partner, it means you actually like them. I get through the jealousy and think ‘he’s enjoying himself’. She might be giving him better head than me but at the end of the day, he’s having a great time because I’m allowing him to.”
“You can’t just stand there [at a sex party] and expect people to come to you. Go talk to them, make those connections, find out what they like, find out if you’re their type, if they want to play with you and go for it!”
“If you’re already in the [swinging] scene and you know this is what you want, then you need to lay it out on the table in the beginning. A lot of people wait and then they spring in on their partners after a really long time and it’s something that they’re missing from the relationship and then the partner is thinking ‘am I not good enough or do I not satisfy you’. So, telling them from the beginning really helps.”
“I think if I would introduce this to somebody, I would use a lot of porn, a lot of dirty talk and gauge their reaction, and discuss some of the common fears. Ideally, you’d have some awesome swinging or poly friends that you could talk to to show them how fun it can be and put some of those fears aside. Baby steps.”
“I think boundaries are really important, you need to know what you’re ok with and what you’re not ok with. Sometimes you don’t even realize this until you’re in action so discussing what you think is alright first.”
Other Great References You’ll Love
Promescent - Our sponsor for this episode. A sexual health company that makes a signature delay spray clinically proven to help men last longer in bed.
Beducated – Our sponsor for this episode. The #1 resource for sexual health and happiness offering the Sex Ed you wish you’d had!
A Beginner's Guide To Swinging & How Couples Can Get Started – Myths, tips, and all the info you’ve ever wanted to know about swinging.
How to Actually Have a Threesome – 33 tips, stories, cautions, considerations and things to expect from a threesome.
Having a threesome with a friend without it getting weird – Tips for avoiding awkwardness, hurting feelings, and enjoying a successful threesome with a friend.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
What have your group sex experiences been like? Leave us a comment below - we'd love to know!