Best sex positions for every situation
BY SARA TANG, SEX COACH
Fancy a Joystick Joyride? Or a Magic Mountain? Or a Milk and Honey Embrace?
(Who names these positions anyway?! And why do they all sound like theme park attractions?!)
Sex positions are a great way to add variety and spice up your sex life. And we know there are literally tons of them, thanks to the Kama Sutra!
However it’s not about necessarily knowing every single position out there, but having a good few in your collection for different purposes, moods and contexts.
Taking sex positions to new heights
The art of getting better in bed is to be creative, stay curious and not just stick to the same old tried-and-tested routine every time.
Furniture can be your friend when it comes to sex. Kitchen sinks, countertops, walls and mirrors can breathe new life into an old position.
They can also help to support the body if you’ve got any achy joints or sore muscles! you can even buy custom-built sex furniture (made with comfy, easy to clean materials), to make certain positions more accessible and pleasurable.
And if you’ve always wanted to try bona fide sexual acrobatics, then a sex swing will enable you to defy gravity without breaking a sweat. Or throw a sex toy into the mix. Something like a roll of bondage tape or a hands-free couples vibrator will take your sex position to the next level.
What’s the best sex position to…maximise female pleasure?
Let me start with a statistic that might surprise you. Only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic from vaginal intercourse alone.
So it makes sense to kick things off with an oral sex position, because women are much more likely to experience orgasm from a talented tongue on their clitoris than through penetration.
If you have a lover who’s a dedicated cunning linguist, then try this upgrade from the standard, spread-eagled oral sex position.
Have your lover position themselves perpendicular to your hip, so their tongue is going side to side across your clitoral hood, as opposed to up and down in more of a “head on” front-facing position.
This is called the The Kivin Method, which claims to produce a faster and more intense orgasm in women.
Now let’s talk intercourse positions. To maximise female pleasure, I’ve found it’s usually the simplest positions with a couple of tweaks that work best.
The Modified Missionary where you draw your knees up towards your chest or bring your legs up to wrap around your lover’s waist will elevate the pubic bone more than traditional Missionary, making it easier to get that clitoral stimulation.
Think about incorporating more of a grinding action, as opposed to just thrusting, to ensure more direct contact with the clitoris.
For deeper penetration and G-spot stimulation, lift one leg and rest it on your thrusting partner’s shoulder. The other leg can be placed around your lover’s thigh, like you would for standard Missionary.
This is called the Praying Mantis position. It’s easy for your partner to also lend a “helping hand” to stimulate your clitoris in this position too.
What’s the best sex position to…drive my partner wild?
If you know what body part really drives your partner wild, then choose sex positions that visually accentuate those parts.
If you have a “butt person” in the bedroom with you, then try the Reverse Cowgirl, a position which puts the woman on top, but facing towards her lover’s feet.
Or experiment with Bent Over Doggy-style, also known as the Turtle position. Start off on all fours in the traditional table-top position, then bend your head and shoulders to rest them on the bed, while keeping your bum in the air. You can wrap your arms around your legs to help lean further forward and provide balance.
If it’s breasts your lover goes crazy for, then something like a classic Woman On Top where you can lean over to allow your breasts to drop oh-so-sensually into your partner’s mouth works well.
For added intensity in these positions, make sure other erogenous zones on the body get attention too.
If there’s hair that needs grabbing, ears that need nibbling or nipples that need sucking, you know what to do. Or let your primal side take over, and wrestle, bite or claw your way to a screaming climax in any position.
What’s the best sex position to…feel close and intimate?
For slow, sensual, energetic lovemaking and intimacy, The Lotus position (also known as Yab-Yum from the Tantric tradition), is my go-to.
Have your lover sit with crossed legs on the bed, with you sitting on top of their lap. Usually it makes most sense for the lighter partner to sit on the heavier partner’s lap, and wrap their legs and arms around the other person in a passionate embrace.
This is a great position for kissing and looking deep into each other’s eyes. Some couples even join their foreheads together to connect their “third eyes” and share sexual energy, appreciating each other’s presence to the fullest.
As you have sex in the Yab-Yum position, try to breathe deeply together and see if you can synchronise a few breaths, while grinding and rocking your way back and forth to ecstatic bliss.
Still looking for inspiration? Here’s a quickie guide:
Best for deep penetration – Get your partner to hold onto your raised leg tightly against their chest in the Praying Mantis position, thrusting deep, fast and hard.
Best for morning sex – Spooning is a great way to start your day, because it’s an easy transition from morning cuddles on a lazy weekend.
Best for a naughty performance – The Lap Limbo involves seating your other half in a chair, while you channel your inner stripper and sit on top of them with your legs flush against their chest.
Best for a quickie – Wrap one of your legs around your partner’s thighs while you stand propped against the wall in The Ballet Dancer position.
Best for a head rush – Get your lover to lie on the bed with their head and shoulders hanging off, while you perch on top in The Waterfall position.
Best for a tight space – The Vertical Doggy where you stand facing away from your partner, and just lean forward slightly.
We all have unique strengths, flexibilities, shapes and sizes, and we all fit together differently. So the sex positions here won’t work for everyone.
Instead, use them as a guide, play with them, modify them, and create your own versions. Then you can name them as enigmatically as you want!
Loved these tips? Unsure how to implement them? Have you still got questions? I offer advice, information, and sex coaching, so if you need personalised guidance, don’t worry – I’m here for you! Find out more here.
(First Published in Sassy Hong Kong)