55. THE SCIENCE OF HORNINESS FROM COME AS YOU ARE BY EMILY NAGOSKI
On this bonus episode, I’m sharing an excerpt of a new podcast I’m enjoying and think you will, too. On Come As You Are, educator and bestselling author Dr. Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science.
You’ll get a modern guide to sexual wellbeing, backed by groundbreaking research about desire, anatomy, orgasm and much more. In conversation with her producer, Emily debunks cultural myths and flips the script on everything you thought you knew about sex and sexuality.
In this preview, Emily answers a listener’s question about losing the motivation to have sex and introduces us to a concept known as the "dual control model,” which offers a simple but radical shift in the way we think about horniness.
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WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE EPISODE
“Pop culture teaches us it's all about getting turned on movies and TV portrayals of sexual desire have led us to a collective misunderstanding about how horniness really works as in how it works in our brains.”
“We're going to talk about the real way horniness works. It's called the dual control model. And it is, in my opinion, one of the single most important, most life-changing pieces of research on human sexuality.”
“So arousal is not just the process of turning on the ons. It's also and more importantly, the process of turning off the offs when people are struggling. The usual advice of how to deal with any difficulty around arousal, pleasure, desire for orgasm, the usual advice you hear is let's add stimulation to the accelerator, watching porn, doing role play, handcuffs, and all that stuff. And sometimes that can work and can be great. But a lot of the time when people are struggling, it's not because there's too little stimulation to the accelerator. It's because there is too much stimulation to the brakes.”
OTHER GREAT REFERENCES YOU’LL LOVE
Come As You Are - this new podcast by Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science.
Emily Nagoski Website - contains the latest work from sex educator Emily Nagoski, including books, events, podcasts and programmes.
The Keys to a Healthier, Happier Sex Life - this TED talk by Emily Nagoski delves into the science of sexuality to demonstrate how we can define pleasure on our own terms.
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!
How are you managing your turn ons and turn offs?