3 Things You Didn't Know About Female Pleasure
BY VALENTINA TUDOSE, DATING & RELATIONSHIP COACH
IF YOU LEARNED ABOUT SEX FROM MOVIES OR BIOLOGY CLASS, YOU MAY BELIEVE THAT THE ONLY WAY WOMEN CAN ENJOY SEXUAL PLEASURE IS THROUGH PENETRATION AND VAGINAL ORGASMS.
You may also have been disappointed with how many times you are actually able to climax and possibly even created a belief that sex is not really fun for women and see it as a duty or a chore.
This could not be further from the truth.
While sex is often seen in our culture as something men love and women suffer, the reality is that women are actually better built for sexual pleasure than men.
The clitoris is the only organ in the human body exclusively designed for pleasure. It has no less than 8000 nerve endings making it the most sensitive part of your body, so how come many women miss it completely?
The best way to experience everything it can do is by experimenting with different masturbation techniques. These can help you discover the different types of female orgasms and make you a real believer in the miracle of sex.
Knowledge is power, and knowing your body well will make you much more confident in the bedroom. Taking the quiz below will help you figure out how confident you are as a lover, and give you guidance around how to turn up the heat in the bedroom.
There are many ways in which women can experience pleasure, and here are three ways that you may have come across:
#1 CLITORAL ORGASMS
are achieved by directly stimulating the little ‘button’ half hiding under the clitoral hood located above the vaginal and urethral opening.
Explore this wonderful spot with your fingers first, applying soft then harder pressure, circular, up and down or side to side movements, increasing pressure and speed until you start feeling the release and waves of pleasure of an orgasm.
You can also take things to the next level by buying yourself a clitoral vibrator that is guaranteed to get you over the edge in minutes. Toys like the Vesper from Crave and Eva from Dame Products are beautifully designed powerful clitoral vibrators totally worth checking out.
#2 VAGINAL ORGASMS
are the most commonly heard of but they may not be so commonly experienced. Bearing in mind that only 30% of women can actually orgasm through penetration alone.
One way of experiencing a vaginal orgasm is through repeated stimulation of the g-spot by the penis, a dildo or vaginal vibrator.
The best way to experiment with this while self-pleasuring is to also directly stimulate your clitoris while using a dildo or vaginal vibrator for a deeper, more satisfying experience of pleasure.
#3 EJACULATORY ORGASMS
– also known as Female Ejaculation or squirting – has been popularised by mainstream porn. Many women may feel this is out of reach for them, but they are in fact an ability that can be learned and unlocked.
They involve an actual explosion of ejaculatory liquid from the vagina which is achieved through a particular type of stimulation of the g-spot (usually repeated powerful movements hitting in a particular place).
This is often mistaken for pee and many women are extremely embarrassed when they happen accidentally.
However, there is nothing to be ashamed about, and if you listen to the Better in Bed podcast episode “Female Ejaculation: Turning on the Waterworks” you’ll understand why.
This type of orgasm feels very different and some women experience strong emotional release during these moments.
There are toys specially designed to facilitate this type of orgasm such as the We-Vibe Rave and any sex shop assistant would be able to help you to find the right one for you.
Whatever your chosen technique, remember that masturbation is the safest and most fun way of discovering your own pleasure zones, likes and dislikes and expand your capacity for pleasure so that you can also become a better lover with your partner.
Valentina Tudose is a Certified Dating Coach, Relationship Expert and Clinical Hypnotherapist who has been working with hundreds of singles and couples in Hong Kong and all over the world since 2014. You can hear her interview on the Better in Bed podcast episode 6, “Opening up to Open Relationships”.
(Article first published on Happy Ever After)